Feng Shui

My roommate texted me two weeks before we moved in together to let me know she switched our rooms because she liked the angles better. 

PePe le Pew

My roommate would only shower every 3 days and you could smell her before you could see her and the smell would linger for hours long after she'd left a room.

Rock the Vote, Schmock the Vote

My roommate once looked me dead in the eye and said "I don't pay attention to politics because they don't affect me."

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That

My roommate used to poop on the toilet seat and refused to clean it up. She told me, "Not everyone has time to check the seat after they poop"

Bio Spill

I had a roommate who had open cups of his own urine on his desk so that he had "fresh urine" to pass drug tests. I found it out the hard way when one spilled all over me.

Old Soul.

I had a housemate who wore long Victorian nightgowns and spent every night playing her keyboard on the harpsichord setting.