Friday, October 31, 2014

Happy Halloween

Why are skeletons usually so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.

Hoping that you and your roommates have fun pretending to be someone else tonight! Perhaps roommates that get along? Muah haha haha ha

Bed Wetter

A friend of mine had a dorm roommate that wet the bed — not because she was drunk, but because she had a legit medical issue and ran out of her meds and for some unknown reason would not go get more. Anyways, instead of washing her bedding after each ‘incident’ she just kept putting more blankets on top. The room smelled. The hall smelled. The elevator lobby smelled.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Killer Hot Dog

I once lived in a house with about 15 other people. We started off with four, but random people kept showing up and not leaving. One girl would constantly steal from me. First she would steal food and it escalated to her stealing jewelry from my room and even wearing it front of me. She would insist it was hers! One day I went through the house and took all the toilet paper, Kleenex, and towels I could find and hid them. Then I laced a hot dog with Ex-Lax and left it on the counter. It only took her about five minutes to steal and eat the hot dog. Thirty minutes later I saw her emerge from the bathroom looking like she was on the brink of death. She never mentioned the mysterious lack of toilet paper, and my stuff was never stolen again.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Your Hope is Dead

One of my friends had a rabbit called Hope, she came home one day and her housemate looked her dead in the eyes and told her, ‘Your Hope is dead.’ She had no idea what the girl meant until she went into her room to find the rabbit dead on her bed. Her housemate had randomly snapped and killed it. She left that place the next day.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

An Underwear Story, Part II.

My roommate once pooped in all my underwear.

Monday, October 27, 2014

For Sale by Roommate

I had a roommate who sold my dog. I came home one night, and my dog was gone! She didn’t tell me where he went. Apparently she told my mom he bit her and my mom came over to get the dog. My roommate listed the dog on Craigslist and told the buyer to go to my mom’s house to pick it up… We ended up getting the dog back after a long and confusing discussion with the lady who bought my dog.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Crossed the Line

My roommate used to ask to borrow my underwear because it was "cuter." Gross and No, Thank You.

Who Made This Big Mess?

I always find myself cleaning up after my roommate. The apartment just gets to the point where I can't take it anymore and I can't get anything done until it's clean. The problem with this is, my roommate gets mad at me for touching her stuff! If you don't want me to touch your things, put your things away!

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Trash Talk

My roommate gossips about me when her friends come over late at night. She thinks I'm asleep and can't hear her. 

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Stolen Identity

I had a roommate who plotted with her husband, who shared her single bedroom along with her baby, to steal my identity. She snuck in my room, stole my credit cards and social security card, and then drained my financial aid account and ran away to Florida. She left everything in her bedroom except her clothes and I never saw or heard from her again. That is until a few weeks later, when my other roommmate and I realized she had snuck in through her bedroom window and gotten some other things from her room. I was out a few thousand dollars, not to mention her share of the utility bill for the month she was there. 

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Bloody Mess

My roommate and I got into a fight over which tv channel to watch. I thought we had worked it out until I came back from out of town the following weekend and found out that she had called the police, accusing me of smearing blood all over her bed and threatening her life! I wasn't even in town when she made a police report and so sure enough, the blood came back as hers and she admitted to the police that she was lying. 

Monday, October 20, 2014

Aye Aye Aye!

My roommate was baking taco shells in the oven and they caught fire!

Friday, October 17, 2014

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

The Winner of our Halloween Candy Giveaway is....

Ryan Skelter!

Ryan, Please send me your mailing info so we can get you your prize right away!
Thank you everyone who sent in their stories, keep them coming! 

Happy Halloween!

Couch Surfer

I am uncomfortable with how often my roommate sleeps on the couch. He sleeps in until noon regularly and I feel like I can't get anything done in the morning!

Thursday, October 16, 2014


My roommate skypes with her boyfriend, which is normal enough, however they do math problems for fun. Neither he nor she is currently enrolled in any kind of math class or are otherwise involved in math, yet she is looking up questions online to solve together for fun.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Hide and Seek

I once found my expensive new jeans pushed down to the bottom of my roommates bed

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

And the little one said, ROLL OVER

My roommate would snore very loudly every night, so I asked him if it was okay if I could yell at him to tell him to roll over.  Every night I did it, I asked him in the morning if it was okay, and he ALWAYS said yes.  After about six months, I woke him up to tell him to roll over, he chewed me out.  The next morning, he told me how I need to be more considerate of his sleep, and how I am being very rude for waking him up in the middle of the night.

Friday, October 10, 2014

Watch Your Back

My roommate often washes her hair in the shower and leaves the strands that fall out on the shower wall. The other day, I went in to shower and found on the wall, written in her stands of hair, were the words "I hate you." I think I should be worried. 

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Halloween Give Away!

Enter to win these eerie lollipops by sending in a roommate story. You can email, message us on Facebook, or tweet @stpwrngmclths! 

Bonus: if you refer a friend and they share a story, you double your chances of winning!

Happy Halloween and Good Luck!

The winner will be announced Thursday, October 16th.

What's Going on in There?

My roommate constantly leaves the toilet seat up. But I don't get it, because she's a girl.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Four Eyes

One morning, my roommate put on her glass and couldn't see. She thought the blurry vision meant she got her eyesight back, and no longer needed glasses. What actually happened was she slept with her contacts in. 

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

I See Dead People

I believe that my roommate talks to a ghost named Adam, in her sleep. 

Monday, October 6, 2014

Dirty Dishes

My roommate leaves her dirty tupperware containers open on the kitchen counter for days at a time. This week, she left a half eaten container of left over spaghetti on the counter for four days.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Health Nut

My roommate wakes up in the night with the sudden urge to take vitamins. She jumps up out of bed, runs to the kitchen, and takes them!

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Hit the Light

My roommate wakes up before me in the morning. He turns on the light to get ready and then leaves me, trying to sleep, with the light on. 

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Midnight Movie

My roommate and I share a room. At night, while I'm trying to sleep, she watches movies on her laptop. Without headphones. 
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