Happy Halloween

Why are skeletons usually so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.

Hoping that you and your roommates have fun pretending to be someone else tonight! Perhaps roommates that get along? Muah haha haha ha

Bed Wetter

A friend of mine had a dorm roommate that wet the bed — not because she was drunk, but because she had a legit medical issue and ran out of her meds and for some unknown reason would not go get more. Anyways, instead of washing her bedding after each ‘incident’ she just kept putting more blankets on top. The room smelled. The hall smelled. The elevator lobby smelled.

Killer Hot Dog

I once lived in a house with about 15 other people. We started off with four, but random people kept showing up and not leaving. One girl would constantly steal from me. First she would steal food and it escalated to her stealing jewelry from my room and even wearing it front of me. She would insist it was hers! One day I went through the house and took all the toilet paper, Kleenex, and towels I could find and hid them. Then I laced a hot dog with Ex-Lax and left it on the counter. It only took her about five minutes to steal and eat the hot dog. Thirty minutes later I saw her emerge from the bathroom looking like she was on the brink of death. She never mentioned the mysterious lack of toilet paper, and my stuff was never stolen again.

Your Hope is Dead

One of my friends had a rabbit called Hope, she came home one day and her housemate looked her dead in the eyes and told her, ‘Your Hope is dead.’ She had no idea what the girl meant until she went into her room to find the rabbit dead on her bed. Her housemate had randomly snapped and killed it. She left that place the next day.

An Underwear Story, Part II.

My roommate once pooped in all my underwear.

For Sale by Roommate

I had a roommate who sold my dog. I came home one night, and my dog was gone! She didn’t tell me where he went. Apparently she told my mom he bit her and my mom came over to get the dog. My roommate listed the dog on Craigslist and told the buyer to go to my mom’s house to pick it up… We ended up getting the dog back after a long and confusing discussion with the lady who bought my dog.