Megatron

As I was studying in my room one afternoon, my roommate came home with the new Transformers DVD. I could only hear her come in so we didn't make eye contact, and she didn't say hello. The first thing I hear (in the most transformer-like voice an 18 year old girl can make), 

"Megatrooooon!"

Explosives.

I once lived with three other girls, one of which had just bought a new microwave. One night, she and I came home to find that something had exploded in the microwave. My roommate was pissed; not only did someone explode something but they just left it there! She knocked on the other girls’ bedroom doors and the culprit came running out of her room, “No, no, no! It’s okay! It’s just wax!” and points at her arm. It’s okay to explode wax in the microwave because you waxed your arms? No.

Help Yourself

One of my roommates sweetly helped me pack up my things and move out of our apartment. About a week later, I saw she posted some pictures online in a few of my clothes!

What's Yours is Mine

One morning, I woke up to see that my roommate was getting dressed in a new top that belonged to me. I hadn't even worn it yet! I told her, "Hey, that top is brand new." She just laughed, took the tags off, and walked right out the door.

Work it Out

When I lived with roommates, I used to work out to exercise DVDs in my room. One of my roommates would shout at me from the other side of my bedroom door, "I know you're having sex in there! I hear that heavy breathing!" She refused to believe that I was just working out!

Hot Dog Juice

I once had a roommate who would only eat hot dogs and ground beef. She would leave hot dog juice in the fridge and stringy ground beef on the stove.